True story. Sorry for the foul language in the title there. It’s true, though. Think about all of the things or “gossip” people have told you over the years, how much of it came from COLD HARD FACTS? How much of it wasn’t just their BS take on someone else’s life?
We’re surrounded by opinions, judgements, and criticism. Sometimes they can be really helpful. They can lead us toward the right decisions or help us see things from a different perspective. And other times, well, other times they could just be someone else projecting their stuff onto you. It’s important to know the difference.
Full disclosure, I’ve completely been that person. The person who says “you should do it this way because of X,Y,Z”. Instead of asking, “What do you feel is the right thing to do?” or “Let’s talk about the different options here and what feels right to you” OR the person who says things based on what I heard from someone else, from someone else, from someone else. That person SUCKS, guys! And in my opinion, that person isn’t coming from a supportive place. They’re coming from a: I’ve been through more-I know more-you’re young-you’re inexperienced-you’re emotional-you’re blah blah blah-place. And maybe you are a couple of those things, but you still have the right to make your own decisions and talk about your life with the people closest to you without being judged, right?
So here’s what I think/do when people pull this stuff on me. I think about it, really, really think about it. We are all living our lives and inexperienced in some way, at something. There isn’t one person who just knows it all and has it all figured out. So when people give me their thoughts, or opinions, or share some random gossip with me, I remind myself of that. This person is completely equal to me. There is something I know that they don’t, there is something I have more experience in than they do. And most importantly, only you know you (only you know what you truly want deep down inside/what’s true about you).
It certainly isn’t easy, but letting the opinions of others control everything you do and all of the decisions you make is not the way to live a fulfilled, happy, life. I really believe you have to make your own decisions and maybe even fail a couple of times to survive. Sure, other people may be around to help make the ride less bumpy, but don’t let those people dictate your life because when they’re gone or when they stop wanting to make all of your decisions for you (because that HAS to be exhausting, too) what will you do? You’ll be that person who was so worried about everyone’s opinion, did everything everyone else expected of them/thought was right, and now has no idea how to make decisions/form opinions for themselves.
As always, I’m just speaking my truth/from my own experiences. I don’t know everything now and I won’t when I’m 100 🙂
With love & gratitude,